I made a friend! I was in a diner in the middle of Nowhere, Utah having breakfast when I overheard two ladies at the counter ordering what I thought was "apple pie with a slice of cheese on top" followed by specific heating intructions ("microwave for just under 30 seconds until cheese is almost melted")
When I went to pay I asked the waitress if that's really what they'd ordered. She confirmed that it really was apple pie with cheese on top. While I tried hard not to look too surprised the ladies offered me a bite of the aforementioned delicacy.
I turned down the kind offer but got chatting to them. When I told them about my trip they were super enthusiastic and offered to show me around. This afternoon I met up with one of them, Chris, to play bingo. We met at a Social Club in Salt Lake and played bingo on a computer for a couple of hours.
When I first started I thought it'd be a bit repetitive and get old soon but oh boy was I wrong! It's super addictive and fun. The best bit was that Chris kept calling people over (she has been playing bingo here for twenty years) and introducing them to her friend "Natalie, from London England"
Tomorrow we're going on a day trip to Antelope Island in the Great Salt Lake to see the bison.
"Olympic" Salt Lake City
There are two Olympic Games nobody involved in the Games seems to talk about - Beijing 2008 Summer Games and Salt Lake 2002 Winter Games (and not because they are in the past - if I had a penny for every time I heard "well, in Vancouver we did..." or "in Sydney we had..." I would not be staying in a cheap motel right now) From what I understand Beijing is awkward because there are no official records of how certain things were run, there were concerns over human rights and media access was altogether dodge. Salt Lake, while financially successful (that's where Mitt Romney came into it) was a tremendous failfest for the IOC, which saw many of its members expelled or sanctioned after bribery accusations. I guess a desire to consign one's turkeys to oblivion is pretty universal.
What I'm trying to say is that, for an Olympic nerd like me, being in an Olympic host city should be super duper exciting but actually it's not. I'm more excited about checking out the Mormon temple to see if that's where my true faith lies. (Spoiler alert - it's not)
Salt Lake
I used to think that the Salt Lake in Salt Lake City was a big dry white expanse of salt. I have been assured it's not (though there is one of those nearby, more on that in a couple of days) I'm told it's a big blue lake with boats and fish. So, I go there today and walk along the edge for a bit. This is what I see:
Random things
Links - On a breakfast menu you may be offered "links" These are sausages. I think because when they're made they look like links on a chain. Let me tell you, if you have enough sausages on your plate that they look like links on a chain, you have problems. Just saying.
Monument - I made the mistake of asking a Park Ranger where exactly a particular Monument was. He pointed at a huge section of a map. I asked him to be more specific (he was pointing at nearly two million acres of land) He outlined the area more precisely. I looked at him like he was pulling my leg. He looked at me like I was an idiot. After a while of this a separate Ranger intervened to explain that in the US a National Monument is a piece of land, like a National Park, declared protected by a US President without the approval of Congress. Silly me, how did I not guess that?
NPR - National Public Radio. This has been my saviour. It's a bit like BBC Radio 4 might have been as a teenager (if it was sponsored by Starbucks) I've been listening to it wherever I have a radio signal but also downloading their podcats. Yesterday, as I was hiking in the dark, I was listening to one about space and it was awesomely chilling (just what you need, when you're already scared witless)
Exits - I brought my tomtom GPS with me from London and decided to keep the British voice on it. Imagine my surprise when, no sooner had we left LAX than the lady let her hair down and told me that there was an exit "right ahead" It took me ages to realise she wasn't being casual - on the freeways here there are exits on both sides. Obv.
Cruise control - I think I'm doing something wrong with my cruise control because, while it keeps me at a steady pace on a flat surface, as soon as we go down a hill it loses it and the speed creeps up. Somehow I don't think this will fly as an excuse if I get pulled over for speeding (again)
Police - Today I saw two police cars zoom past me with their lights flashing. To be fair, the only way you could tell they were police cars was because of the lights - there appears to be no common rulebook for decorating your cop car. I've seen the classic black/white/black on quite a few vehicles but then in Richfield Utah I saw one with what I can only describe as a tramp stamp:
Anyway, by the time I drove past the flashing police cars, I saw they had pulled over an SUV and one of them was standing at the window, in that "do you know what speed you were doing, sir?" kind of stance. What made my eyes pop was that behind his back he was holding a gun and had his finger on the trigger!!!
Pet hospitals - On my travels so far I have seen oodles of pet hospitals, pet hotels, pet shops, pet doctors. On the other hand, I have seen ONE human hospital. Read into that what you will.
Half and half - This is a white liquid that comes in little plastic containers wherever you get coffee. I originally assumed it was milk but couldn't work out what the other half was. I was further confused when in a motel breakfast room a lady was desperately looking for Half and Half but pulled a disgusted face when I suggested she use the readily available milk. I'm still not sure.
Engine braking - This is something that is restricted on some roads between certain hours. I don't know if I'm doing it!!!
Zapping - My car is good in lots of ways: it uses hardly any petrol, it holds my cardrobe, it doesn't smell too bad. However, there is one thing that makes me want to kick it. EVERY time I get out it zaps me. Whyyyyyyy???? It's a really violent, blue spark inducing, painful zap. I've looked for a solution online and all I've found is a) tie a bit of chain to your car (I wonder whether some sausages would do the trick?) or b) spray yourself with an anti-static product before you get in your car. Both seem ridiculous.
British music - I do not understand why British bands make such a big deal about "breaking the States" At least 40% of the music I have heard on the radio here is by Britsih artists. In fact, if I hear Ellie flipping Goulding one more time I will punch the stereo.
Dinner today, dinner tomorrow - There is a chain of restaurants which advertises itself on TV by promoting its "dinner today, dinner tomorrow" deal, whereby you go to the restaurant and order two mains - one for today and one in a box for tomorrow. I'm not sure what it is about this idea that makes me go "yuck" on the inside. I'm sure it's a great idea but yeah, yuck.
Street numbers - WHY are street numbers in the thousands in a town that doesn't have a hundred houses?
Biscuits - these are not cookies. They are served for breakfast with ... wait for it... gravy. I haven't had one yet so I can't really comment beyond that. So I won't.
When I went to pay I asked the waitress if that's really what they'd ordered. She confirmed that it really was apple pie with cheese on top. While I tried hard not to look too surprised the ladies offered me a bite of the aforementioned delicacy.
I turned down the kind offer but got chatting to them. When I told them about my trip they were super enthusiastic and offered to show me around. This afternoon I met up with one of them, Chris, to play bingo. We met at a Social Club in Salt Lake and played bingo on a computer for a couple of hours.
When I first started I thought it'd be a bit repetitive and get old soon but oh boy was I wrong! It's super addictive and fun. The best bit was that Chris kept calling people over (she has been playing bingo here for twenty years) and introducing them to her friend "Natalie, from London England"
 |
| My own mother isn't this proud of me |
"Olympic" Salt Lake City
There are two Olympic Games nobody involved in the Games seems to talk about - Beijing 2008 Summer Games and Salt Lake 2002 Winter Games (and not because they are in the past - if I had a penny for every time I heard "well, in Vancouver we did..." or "in Sydney we had..." I would not be staying in a cheap motel right now) From what I understand Beijing is awkward because there are no official records of how certain things were run, there were concerns over human rights and media access was altogether dodge. Salt Lake, while financially successful (that's where Mitt Romney came into it) was a tremendous failfest for the IOC, which saw many of its members expelled or sanctioned after bribery accusations. I guess a desire to consign one's turkeys to oblivion is pretty universal.
What I'm trying to say is that, for an Olympic nerd like me, being in an Olympic host city should be super duper exciting but actually it's not. I'm more excited about checking out the Mormon temple to see if that's where my true faith lies. (Spoiler alert - it's not)
Salt Lake
I used to think that the Salt Lake in Salt Lake City was a big dry white expanse of salt. I have been assured it's not (though there is one of those nearby, more on that in a couple of days) I'm told it's a big blue lake with boats and fish. So, I go there today and walk along the edge for a bit. This is what I see:
 |
| Birdies walking on the salt |
 |
| Birdy dead in the salt |
Random things
Links - On a breakfast menu you may be offered "links" These are sausages. I think because when they're made they look like links on a chain. Let me tell you, if you have enough sausages on your plate that they look like links on a chain, you have problems. Just saying.
Monument - I made the mistake of asking a Park Ranger where exactly a particular Monument was. He pointed at a huge section of a map. I asked him to be more specific (he was pointing at nearly two million acres of land) He outlined the area more precisely. I looked at him like he was pulling my leg. He looked at me like I was an idiot. After a while of this a separate Ranger intervened to explain that in the US a National Monument is a piece of land, like a National Park, declared protected by a US President without the approval of Congress. Silly me, how did I not guess that?
NPR - National Public Radio. This has been my saviour. It's a bit like BBC Radio 4 might have been as a teenager (if it was sponsored by Starbucks) I've been listening to it wherever I have a radio signal but also downloading their podcats. Yesterday, as I was hiking in the dark, I was listening to one about space and it was awesomely chilling (just what you need, when you're already scared witless)
Exits - I brought my tomtom GPS with me from London and decided to keep the British voice on it. Imagine my surprise when, no sooner had we left LAX than the lady let her hair down and told me that there was an exit "right ahead" It took me ages to realise she wasn't being casual - on the freeways here there are exits on both sides. Obv.
Cruise control - I think I'm doing something wrong with my cruise control because, while it keeps me at a steady pace on a flat surface, as soon as we go down a hill it loses it and the speed creeps up. Somehow I don't think this will fly as an excuse if I get pulled over for speeding (again)
Police - Today I saw two police cars zoom past me with their lights flashing. To be fair, the only way you could tell they were police cars was because of the lights - there appears to be no common rulebook for decorating your cop car. I've seen the classic black/white/black on quite a few vehicles but then in Richfield Utah I saw one with what I can only describe as a tramp stamp:
 |
Pet hospitals - On my travels so far I have seen oodles of pet hospitals, pet hotels, pet shops, pet doctors. On the other hand, I have seen ONE human hospital. Read into that what you will.
Half and half - This is a white liquid that comes in little plastic containers wherever you get coffee. I originally assumed it was milk but couldn't work out what the other half was. I was further confused when in a motel breakfast room a lady was desperately looking for Half and Half but pulled a disgusted face when I suggested she use the readily available milk. I'm still not sure.
Engine braking - This is something that is restricted on some roads between certain hours. I don't know if I'm doing it!!!
Zapping - My car is good in lots of ways: it uses hardly any petrol, it holds my cardrobe, it doesn't smell too bad. However, there is one thing that makes me want to kick it. EVERY time I get out it zaps me. Whyyyyyyy???? It's a really violent, blue spark inducing, painful zap. I've looked for a solution online and all I've found is a) tie a bit of chain to your car (I wonder whether some sausages would do the trick?) or b) spray yourself with an anti-static product before you get in your car. Both seem ridiculous.
British music - I do not understand why British bands make such a big deal about "breaking the States" At least 40% of the music I have heard on the radio here is by Britsih artists. In fact, if I hear Ellie flipping Goulding one more time I will punch the stereo.
Dinner today, dinner tomorrow - There is a chain of restaurants which advertises itself on TV by promoting its "dinner today, dinner tomorrow" deal, whereby you go to the restaurant and order two mains - one for today and one in a box for tomorrow. I'm not sure what it is about this idea that makes me go "yuck" on the inside. I'm sure it's a great idea but yeah, yuck.
Street numbers - WHY are street numbers in the thousands in a town that doesn't have a hundred houses?
Biscuits - these are not cookies. They are served for breakfast with ... wait for it... gravy. I haven't had one yet so I can't really comment beyond that. So I won't.
Most cars' cruise controls aren't very good at holding the speed going downhill, so you're not doing anything wrong.
ReplyDeleteThe keeping-a-hand-on-the-gun thing at the beginning of a traffic stop is pretty typical, because of the chance that the driver himself may have a gun.
Half and half is half milk, half cream. Wikipedia tells me you might know it as "half cream."
The "engine braking" that's restricted is something only big trucks can do. (It gets restricted because it makes a very loud chattering noise.)
A big reason for the static is the low-rolling-resistance tires on your car that are improving your gas mileage, so think of the shocks as the price you're paying for spending less money on fuel.
In most of the parts of the country you've been through so far, address numbers are measured from a central point in the county, and the counties are huge. As you get further east, the numbers won't get so big.
Thank you! Say, when do I need to stop turning right on red?
DeletePlus the numbers are according the distance to this points and not to the quantity of houses on the streets
ReplyDeleteSo many Americanisms in this post! I just wanted to jump in and say that Levi makes some damn fine VEGETARIAN* biscuits and gravy, and if you can hold out 'til Chicago we would love to introduce you to them.
ReplyDelete*This is kind of crazy since this dish should really be called biscuits and gravy and sausage, but his version is yummy, I promise!
Yummy!! Can't wait!! xx
DeleteOk, cruise control crazy or just possessed... tomato, tomato.
ReplyDelete